My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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