I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
