I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
