Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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