He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
