i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
