I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
