U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
