That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
