No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
