brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
