this will be a night to untag.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
