Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
