wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
