it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
