So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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