I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
