Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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