Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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