I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
