i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
