hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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