Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have feelings that need drinking.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
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