I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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