am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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