Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
