She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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