I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
