Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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