I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
