She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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