I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
