Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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