When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
