Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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