She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
