is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
