I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
