Buhtt sex?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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