Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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