everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
