God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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