Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
