It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
