sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
