Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
