So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
