hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
