Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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