I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
All the doctor said was why
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
