are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
