gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
