That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This is my gift to your gina
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
