DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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